E-life

I have been wrestling with the concept of moral judgements and the Internet for a few weeks and have decided that since I haven't blogged in a few months that it might make adequate fodder for a post.

When the Internet and e-mail first became popular, critics were saying that it was the beginning of the end of interpersonal communication. E-mails were so convenient that no one would call or maintain close personal relationships. I however, believe that the opposite has happened.

The evolution of the Internet has allowed us to stay in a much closer degree of contact with many more people than we otherwise would have time for and perhaps should. The ease of communication grants us a venue in which a conversation can last all day or weeks on end. Instead of calling your friend after work, you can chat with them all day while you're at your computer or, if they're not available, leave them a message on their virtual wall to read later.
This all is a great advancement for the realm of communication. My fear is that the convenience may blind us to the judgement call inherent in these communications.

It used to be, that every means of communication required your full attention at the time and therefore robbed you of your free time that you were able to socialize with others. Face time, telephone and writing letters all require a certain amount of continued focus that the Internet does not. Continued friendship and the degree of that friendship were subject to the amount of "real time" you and the other person were willing to "spend" out of your limited supply. Naturally, people were a little more picky on who they decided were worth the effort.

I fully appreciate the value of the millions of "reconnects" that the Internet has facilitated. I do not think that is a bad thing. What worries me, is that many people seem susceptible to the sort of false intimacy that the Internet can provide. It is very easy for anyone to keep posting flirty banter for months on facebook or myspace or chat everyday on instant messenger. There is no harm done, its just an innocent little note or a chat to help the day go by a little bit faster.

The trouble comes when all of those messages accumulate. What happens when you actually see the people you've been cultivating relationships with? Do you realize why you don't bother to see this person in real life?

Worse , it could be the other side of the coin. People often seem a little colder and more distant in person when compared to their online messages. They say hi but don't have enough time to spend much actual face time with you. I think this is because when people meet in person, the prioritizing of one's time for the people that matter most is again an issue. Further proof that relationships (romantic or not) where the majority of conversation takes place online, don't fit into "real time".

My advice to those who try to cultivate new relationships online is to pay attention to who pays attention to you when you come face to face. If someone doesn't have time for you in real life should you have time for them online?